The following elements can be used to personalise an independent ceremony so that it takes on a character all of its own and suits you as a couple:
1. Entrance
Classic:
one of you waits at the front for their chosen partner, who then walks slowly down the aisle to the first song. With or without company.
To each their own:
Both of you get your entrance, each to a song chosen specially for it. That gives you two entrance songs, each underlining your personalities.
Joint entrance:
You come in together, as a couple.
Alternative, depending on what is possible on site: one of you comes from the left, one from the right, you meet in the middle and walk down the aisle together. Symbolic of the paths through life that come together in order to become one shared path from that point on.
The other way round:
You do not much like being the centre of attention? Then wait at the ceremony spot while your guests arrive to the entrance song. Why not?
2. Seating
The seating at the ceremony venue can also give the whole thing a very personal note. Of course there is the classic version with rows of chairs left and right and an aisle in the middle.
Or how about a circle or a spiral shape instead, with your seats in the middle of it? That way you are surrounded by the people dearest to your hearts when you say “I do”.
3. Songs
Your choice of music is of course a lovely way to make your ceremony individual. Is there a song that was playing in the background during your first kiss? Or a track that you both always belt out when you drive off on holiday together? Do let your celebrant know.
In my view, 3 songs are the minimum: entrance, exit and one to give you and your guests the chance to pause during the ceremony and to give the whole thing some structure.
But of course you can choose up to 5 or 6 songs to underscore and accompany your ceremony. These can also be played during a personal ritual.
Musicians who play your songs live on site give the ceremony that certain something. This is of course a question of budget. Alternatively the music can be played from a device, though that does take a little of the magic away.
4. Your story
Your love story, peppered with individual, funny anecdotes, is of course THE element for making your ceremony truly personal. Because your story is entirely unique. Discuss with your celebrant in advance exactly which aspects of it you would rather not have spread out before your assembled guests, and which on the other hand absolutely must not be missing.
5. Personal words / declaration of love
Personal words addressed to one another are an absolute highlight. Depending on the person, it takes a certain amount of courage. But it is worth it. Even if your voice trembles with emotion and you have to take a deep breath now and then – a declaration of love like this is simply singular and unforgettable. Not only for you, but for your guests too.
Alternative:
If you value personal words but they are meant for the two of you alone, then read them to each other in intimate togetherness during the first look, for example (accompanied only by your photographer). Or hand each other the declaration of love in written form during the ceremony, so that you can read it together in a quiet moment.
6. Rituals / theme
A ritual tailored entirely to you also makes your ceremony that bit more personal. Whether it is an existing ritual adapted to you as a couple, such as planting a tree together, or a completely newly created ritual that suits you – do discuss the possibilities with your celebrant.
I only recommend additional rituals if they suit you and you are genuinely looking forward to them. If it feels too contrived, then rather leave it out. Because an independent ceremony works wonderfully well without a laboriously far-fetched ritual.
But when it fits, it can round off the ceremony beautifully and pick up the common thread again.
Is there something you identify with completely?
Then choose it as the theme for the whole wedding.
7. Saying “I do”
Quite simply: the marriage questions your celebrant asks you should also be adapted to you and your values.
8. Ring bearer (if exchanging rings suits you)
Whether it is your godchildren, your witnesses, your sweet dog or a remote-controlled car – there are no limits to the imagination when it comes to the ring bearer either.
9. Location / season and time of day
The location itself can also reflect your story and your preferences: whether close to a river or lake, in the mountains, in the middle of a meadow, on a boat or in an old barn – think about where you feel most at ease.
Consider the different seasons too. Summer weddings are not the only beautiful ones; autumn weddings with colourful leaves and often still mild temperatures can enchant just as much as a spring or winter wedding among snow-covered hills.
Are you both night owls? How about planning your ceremony not during the day but at nightfall under a starry sky, with plenty of candles and fairy lights in the trees? I get goosebumps just writing it.
This list is not exhaustive. Discuss further possibilities with your celebrant. Perhaps you have even more ideas yourselves, or people dear to you have planned a surprise that we can weave into the ceremony.
As you can see for yourselves: the possibilities for making your ceremony truly personal are almost endless.
I wish you a lot of joy in shaping your very own, personal ceremony.
